An Armenian guy walks into Walmart… and somehow this becomes a comedy show.
#Introduction
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Arman.
Nice name, right? Short. Easy to remember. Easy to pronounce.
A rare moment of kindness from my family.
But the funny part is why I got this name.
Like every normal kid, at some point I asked my parents:
“Why did you choose my name?”
I was expecting something beautiful:
“Because it means hope.”
“Because it has a deep history.”
“Because we wanted you to carry a great tradition.”
No.
The answer was:
“Because nobody else in the yard had that name.”
That was the whole strategy.
“So when we call ‘Arman!’ — everybody knows it’s you.”
Honestly, that was genius.
My parents invented the original notification system.
No phone. No GPS. No tracking app.
Just shout my name and the correct child appears.
#The Last Name Test
But wait… I didn’t tell you my last name yet.
The first name was the easy version.
My last name is…
A-Y-V-A-Z-Y-A-N.
Try saying it.
Stop. Please.
I don’t want to watch a person lose confidence in real time.
Your family loves you.
Don’t make them identify you at the hospital because you tried to pronounce my last name.
I respect every culture.
But my ancestors looked at the alphabet and said:
“Let’s make this a final exam.”
Then I meet someone named Li or Chan and think:
“Wait… you got the express version?”
Then Thiruvengadamudayan Srinivasan Ramachandran walks in:
“Why are you complaining?”
“My name is so long, the passport officer doesn’t check my identity anymore — he just asks me to finish reading it.”
“At least your name is a final exam. Mine is the entire textbook.”
#Find Your Wife in Walmart
I invented a new game.
It’s called:
Find Your Wife in Walmart.
Here’s how you play.
You enter Walmart together.
Ten minutes later, she disappears.
You have three minutes to locate her before she texts:
“Where are you?”
Notice something.
She disappeared.
She knows exactly where she is.
She is asking where you are.
This is not a bug in the game.
This is the game.
#12 Students
A guy is bragging:
“I am proud to say that I currently have 12 students studying under me.”
“Twelve.”
“And I’m thinking of expanding my program next year…”
I say:
“Good for you, Jesus.”
#Free Estimate
A free estimate means you are not paying money to find out how much money you have to pay.
It is a gift.
They drive to your home.
They look around.
They deliver bad news.
At no charge.
The bad news itself will cost you.
But learning how bad the news is?
Complimentary.